Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
