i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
