all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
