Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
