dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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