he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
