im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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