I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
