i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
