Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
