hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
