TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she looked like the before picture.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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