The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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