**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize