I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
