can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
