I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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