well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
