i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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