Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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