You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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