I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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