i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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