I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
