hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
