There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i will never coherently bang her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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