you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
