but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
