YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
