i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
