well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
