I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
