dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
