I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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