we have officially lost it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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