When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
