I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
