Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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