"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
