god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
