This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
