You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
