Don't you send me to vm
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
