I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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