super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
