I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
