And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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