i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize