He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
