well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
