"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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