Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
