Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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