tell your sister to shave her snatch
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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