I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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