is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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