dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
