wakey wakey hands off snakey
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize