We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
