I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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