woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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