If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So much rum. So many feels.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
