Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
